Mirage
by Vashagud
Summary: Cloud reluctantly separates the legend from the man, and finds a few unexpected results in the process. Sephiroth/Cloud.


Zack had introduced them the first chance he'd gotten. It had been a chance meeting in the halls that Cloud could only remember as the screeching halt of the General's boots on the tile, as Zack thrust himself directly in his path. All at once, especially at the sharp, strangely machine like way the General locked onto both of them with his eyes, Cloud wanted to turn Zack around and ask him if he really was as off his rocker as they sometimes joked about.

This wasn't a joke though, and Cloud didn't care if Zack was second in command, Sephiroth would cut him down real quick in a Junon second. At least that was what he'd heard around the base. He'd heard that the General was partial to no one, a solitary force of nature, and never _ever _to be crossed. Sure, he knew things like that could be overblown but he'd grown up hearing about the Prodigious General, hearing about his near divinity, the darkness that paired off with it and made it so that he couldn't be likened to the gods people prayed to, looked to the clouds for. But instead to the kind that people ran from, cowered in fear of, and hoped to be protected from.

That didn't sound like any God Cloud had heard of, but he still liked to entertain the option, although occasionally he did scoff at some of the more elaborate things, because as unbelievable as it was, some stories got even wilder than that. Point was though, he'd grown up on a good dose of the lore, and kept some of it close to him, like so many soldier hopefuls did.

Because when you choose heroes, you don't chose someone who is like you. Cloud had chosen Sephiroth because he was everything he wasn't, point for point. And if that ever lurking myth added a bit on that wasn't quite there, all the more to work towards. Cloud was a little drunk on the idea, but not so much the man.

Because as he thought to tell Zack to stop being stupid, because damnit, _he was his only friend and he needed him alive, thankyou, _Sephiroth sighed and dropped a little of the ice, not like a god, but a person, an annoyed person. Cloud silently watched, and didn't know why just that little thing irked him. And when Zack moved out of the way, did the awkward intros and Sephiroth actually reached out to shake his hand, Cloud froze.

He froze in all his hero worship, on every thought that said he wasn't worthy. And he froze, because he was certain, gods didn't give handshakes either. Obviously he knew Sephiroth wasn't really a god, but this was...really very ordinary.

And when he stretched out his hand to grip the General's, actually looked to his face, for the first time, through all the gods, legends and myth came a sharp piece of something human. And it was an uncomfortable realization, rank with everything that _was _human, everything Cloud himself very much was. Everything Sephiroth wasn't supposed to be.

And with a still smoking hole through his long held lofty idea, Cloud took his hand away.

The General was still extraordinary, still so much more than he was but-

"Spike's jus' nervous Seph."

He was going to hurt Zack for saying that later, but at that moment all he could see was Sephiroth, standing in the new light. Looking back at him with an unreadable expression. And like he was out of his mind, he met the gaze, too filled with thoughts to think about what he was doing. The moment was an eerily private one, even as Zack stood between them, talking. But Cloud was the first to look away, back in his wits and thoroughly embarrassed by his behavior. He is sure now that General Sephiroth probably thinks he is an idiot.

And he makes an excuse and leaves the two superior officers standing there, his salute is perfect (though it's no consolation), and he probably shouldn't have left until Sephiroth did, but he just couldn't be there any longer.

Later after he has beaten himself up over and over about the way he acted, and days later when Zack decides he needs to reenact his 'deer in the headlights' look, because it's _so hilarious_, Cloud still feels his realization as potent as the day he took Sephiroth's hand and shook it. It's so many things. It's humbling, it's electric, and it's shocking. And while Zack is finishing another round of squats, it just flies out of his mouth.

"Most of those things they say about him, they're wrong. Aren't they." Cloud watches Zack rise up from a squat very slowly. And in a way that is so strange because Zack is such a clown it's amazing to see how much he really understands, Zack replies. He replies, and doesn't have to even ask who he's talking about.

"Most if not all Spike. But the way things spread around here, around everywhere, a lot of people lose the truth. Seph's somethin', but he's not all the shit in the legends. At the root he's human, just like us." he runs a hand through his hair. "And you know, more people ought wise up to that."

Zack confirms everything he was thinking from that day, and he feels a surprising sympathy. But underneath it all, he still wants to hold on to that impossible idea, that both is and isn't Sephiroth.

And in trying to hold onto the myth, he suddenly found himself watching Sephiroth whenever he could. Trying to find anything to negate that human factor, to bring back the ideal he'd come to Midgar with in hopes of reaching himself some day.

And then, almost like the daze he'd been in at first sight, whenever Sephiroth is near, in the craziest twist of intention, he is falling out of formation, doing half assed salutes. And one day when he sees Sephiroth standing behind the observation glass of his training room, he floors a fellow cadet they way he floored one of the boys in his town who picked on him the wrong day. The technique is the very definition of what isn't allowed in hand to hand. Everyone is looking at him, but he is only looking through the glass at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth is frowning at him. And some time it might have been enough to make him shrivel, and it partly does, but Cloud has a different more dangerous determination running along the same determination he always had to please Sephiroth, to be like him. Cloud is determined to get Sephiroth himself to prove to him that something of the legend exists. Cloud knows what he's doing is insane, and a voice is screaming for him to stop being so stupid, but he's desperate, too desperate to get a reaction out of Sephiroth that will prove that the always powerful, intolerant and divine General does exist.

But Sephiroth doesn't react. He walks away.

And the next conversation he has is with a Zack he rarely sees. An angry one.

"What _the hell _are you doing Spike?" He knows Zack wants him to have his dream almost as much as he does, and is only like this because he's screwing it all up right now. He doesn't answer Zack's question very well because he's not really sure what he's doing, and the things he knows he's done he is sure Zack will not take too kindly. He is very protective of his General.

"I don't know." Cloud says.

"Well, whatever the hell it is, I'd stop right about now."

But he didn't. And so one coincidental day when both he and Sephiroth wound up in Zack's apartment at the same time and Zack had gone to do something in the kitchen, Sephiroth turned away from the direction of the kitchen, almost like he was checking to make sure Zack was busy.

Turning in a way which for some reason reminded Cloud of a horror movie, Sephiroth walked over to him. And Cloud was afraid, almost instantly regretful of how he'd been acting. But those things were quickly sidelined by his need for proof of his mythical General. Not the softer, but still terrifying human version. Still, when Sephiroth came to stand in front of him he could not look at his face. Sephiroth cut straight to the chase.

"You're testing me." The way it was said, it could've been a question. But Cloud knew it wasn't. Cloud still couldn't look at him. "Why? Why, are you testing me?" Cloud did look up this time, and met two very green eyes. But the question in Sephiroth' voice ran loud and clear, and so human.

"I'm not." Cloud said, knowing he would know it was a lie. Sephiroth moved so close, they would have been eye to eye if they had been the same height.

"You are cadet." Sephiroth frowned, but Cloud was sure he wouldn't harm him. Zack was in the other room and Sephiroth knew that just as Zack was protective over him he was also the same way with Cloud. Cloud knew that was the reason Sephiroth had checked before approaching. Something else gods probably didn't do. Cloud frowned, at every turn now, he was seeing only Sephiroth's humanity. And it was at that moment that he realized he might have screwed up his future at ShinRa with this bullshit. At that moment, the god-demon-angel Sephiroth ceased to be an issue.

He had made a really big mistake. "I do not enjoy being toyed with."

And it might've been something in that last part, but it was overwhelmingly human despite how frightening Sephiroth was, and this real Sephiroth came together for him. He saw and heard the anger and the confusion. He thought about Zack's sympathetic words, the myths, and what he had done and the guilt swept in like a storm. What was more, looking into the General's face and seeing the confusion, he saw himself.

He saw himself, and he wasn't so much disappointed then he was shocked.

His head was reeling over the sudden connection, and the guilt he felt when he ackowledged it.

He realized that this similarity didn't mean less to work up to, or that his hero was any less of one, and to this day he will never be able to explain why he did it but Sephiroth was still (in Zack's words) somethin', still pretty amazing, especially up close and Cloud kissed him for all of it, for everything he had found out and what still was.

And hell, he was screwed already, so why not. Sephiroth didn't immediately push him away, but didn't immediately kiss back. Zack broke something in the kitchen, and Sephiroth did push him away then, went and walked out the door without another word.

Cloud let the days pass after that. He played no games, and was being the epitome of a good cadet. There was really nothing he could say for himself, and Sephiroth hadn't done anything so he supposed they were going to just forget it ever happened. Cloud knew he was lucky every night when he wasn't razed in his bed, and that he still had all of his limbs each morning. Men had paid for doing less than he had, and he was sure it was because of his connection to Zack that Sephiroth hadn't shown him what was what.

And so it was a surprise when taking one of his breaks outside at the back of the building where the ground wasn't completely wrecked, that Sephiroth found him. When he saw the man approaching, apology upon apology almost came bubbling up, but he stopped himself on the very good chance he'd say something stupid instead.

"I have been thinking about the proper way to handle this."

"Sir."

"Do not bother with formality Strife. We both know you are well beyond that point."

"I'm sorry, sir." an apology slipped out anyway.

"Sorry?" Sephiroth sounded almost incredulous. "What does becoming a SOLDIER mean to you, Strife?" Cloud was certain he did not like where this was going.

"It means everything, sir." It was the truth, but the look in the General's eyes said he didn't completely buy it. And again Cloud felt his mouth start to move on its own. "It's why I did what I did sir. But I know there's no excuse."

"No, there isn't." Sephiroth looked at him. "You claim to have done this for, SOLDIER?"

"I...I have to become a SOLDIER." Cloud couldn't really find the right words. "I...grew up hearing about you...and so many of the stories..." Sephiroth frowned. " but they're not true at all."

"No, they're not." The wind filled the sudden silence. "How do you excuse your behavior in Zack's apartment?" Cloud blinked.

"I...don't." Cloud almost wanted to kick himself for saying that. Sephiroth came closer to him.

"Then why?"

"Because..." Cloud looked down at his hands. "Because you're..."

"I'm what?" and Cloud didn't remember him being that close.

"Because you're human and... that's enough." Sephiroth's shock was plainer on his face than Cloud had seen anything else. For a long time, the General just stood there, considering him. After a few very long scary seconds, Sephiroth pulled him closer by his collar.

"If you ever do anything like that again cadet, you will get your demon." Cloud nodded mutely and Sephiroth bent down to catch the cadet's lips with his own. And with handfuls of leather coat, and his General's mouth against his, the last bits of the myth were broken through. And in that moment Cloud couldn't think of anything better than being human.


End file.
